Kind of cool… please provide any feedback.
Application number: 12/826,299
Publication number: US 2011/0316544 A1
Category Archives: Mundo Dilbert
Engineer jokes
Apologies in advance…
There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don’t.
Ad in the personals:
Me: Wirey, sensitive
You: A little resistive
We’ll make a great thermocouple!Just joined a rock band called 1023MB…we haven’t done a gig yet!
Why did the programmer get stuck in the shower?
Lather, rinse, repeat.Q: What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?
A: Nothing. You can’t cross a scalar with a vector.Q: Why do programmers get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because DEC 25 == OCT 31I would tell you a joke about UDP but you might not get it…
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Two atoms walk into a bar. One says, “Dang! I just lost an electron!” The other atom says, “Are you sure?” The first one says, “I’m positive.”
A tachyon gets kicked out of a bar. The bartender says “we don’t serve your type!”. A tachyon walks into a bar.
So, a neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer” he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. “How much will that be?” asks the neutron. “For you?” replies the bartender, “no charge.”
Did you hear about the man who cooled himself to absolute zero? Don’t worry, he’s 0K.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one tells the bartender he wants a beer. The second one says he wants half a beer. The third one says he wants a fourth of a beer. The bartender puts two beers on the bar and says “You guys need to learn your limits.”
Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.
A photon walks into two bars…
How do you tell the difference between an extrovert programmer and an introvert programmer?
The extrovert programmer looks at your shoes when talking to you.Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, that’s a hardware problem
The Coffice returns
The genius of modern office design
Being a mild germophobe, I made sure to wipe clean my new cube using (what else?) 3M Desk and Office cleaner. Even though everything seemed perfectly clean, a vast amount of dirt came out.
This got me thinking about how brilliant the designers of the modern office are. They make them look clean regardless of the amount of dirt being hidden in plain sight.
My theory is that the country’s top camouflage designers working for the army eventually run out of things to do and go on to tackle a harder challenge: Making the workspace of an engineer look clean.
For instance, compare these two photos of the desk, before and after heavy amounts of soap and half a roll of paper towels:
See the difference? I didn’t think so.
Even more striking is the design of office carpets. These patterns will hide anything smaller than 3/4 of an inch. Drop a penny, an earring, a screw and you will never find it again. Never.
Other things, such as giant coffee stains are completely hidden from plain sight too. See the photo below. Can you spot the giant coffee stain?
I didn’t think so.
Work
Masacotes 2011
We started the 2011 league yesterday in the Advanced Division with a tight victory in spite of having a numeric disadvantage in this match. This marks our tenth (!) anniversary, possibly making us the oldest team in the league. That’s impressive.
If/when all players show up, I may post a photo that includes everyone.
Raising awareness for intern neglect
This was shown at a recent meeting at work and drew big laughs. No idea if people outside the tech industry find it as funny, but feel free to share your thoughts.
My summer intern may or may not identify.
My view at the office
People sometimes ask me if I’ve advanced at work. Well, I’m happy to say that I just moved up… to the eight floor! This is what I see from my windwow. If it wasn’t for the apartment complex, you’d think I’m in the moon of Endor.
Coffice eviction
The sign says it all.
We had found a spot for the wandering coffice but now we need to move it in order to make room for the installation of desks for incoming interns, who ironically will be the ones making the coffee (I kid, I kid).
The early bird gets the worm
One of the nicest feelings: When you are at work early in the morning and need to go to the bathroom, and happen to be the first person to use it after it was cleaned the previous evening.
You can tell by the position of the toilet seat: Up for unused and pristine, down for used and compromised.