Every young man goes through the same rituals when growing up. One of them is finding the deodorant that best matches his body chemistry. Once found, a lifelong relationship is formed.

Back in the day, I tried them all: Right Guard, Sure spray (like my dad uses: unscented – very manly), Arrid XX (only one X away from hardcore porn), even old nasty Old Spice.

One day, my friend Salomón Goldman recommended Sure Soft Solid. It’s not liquid, it’s not solid. It’s like a white goo that dissapears when applied, does not stain your t-shirts, and keeps you dry and fresh all day long. When Stephen Hawking talks astrophysics, you listen… And when Salo Goldman talks deodorant, you listen. So listen I did, and it was good.

However, in the last few months I have noticed an alarming trend: Local supermarkets are no longer stocking Sure Soft Solid deodorant. I promptly contacted the company:

Source: www.suredeodorant.com
Language: English
Content: I can’t find Sure Soft Solid at Wal Mart nor can I find it here in your website. Is it discontinued?
FName: Marcos
LName: Kirsch
Country: United States
Age: 25-34

They quickly replied:

Dear Valued Customer,

Thank you so much for taking the time to contact us. Please find it on
www.amazon.com

Best regards,

Sure Customer Support

I finally ordered a lot of deodorant from Amazon. Now it’s a race between my quickly depleting last bar of Sure Soft Solid and the UPS guy. That’s ok, worse case I don’t wear deodorant for a few days or I cover my smell up with lotion.

It’s the long term scenario that scares me. Even though I stocked up with deodorant, my fears may turn out to be true and they may have stopped production. Forever. I will eventually run out, and then this will turn into a twisted real-life version of the famous Seinfeld Sponge episode. I will have to start picking which days are Soft-Solid-worthy and which days I’ll simply stink. It’s going to be interesting.

True story:

When I was a little kid, I used to hang out all the time at my grandmother’s small hotel in downtown Monterrey (accross the street from and yet vastly better than this one).

Visiting baseball teams and wrestlers would stay there. Obviously, my brothers and I would always harass the baseball players in order to score original, fitted baseball hats: the ultimate cool. Too big for me at the time and too small by the time I hit eleven.

The wrestlers, however, I wouldn’t dare bother.

One day, this very huge, very muscular dude with a J. Jonah Jameson-style mustache walks by me in the lobby. Chinto, the very small, very skinny bell boy with a Cantínflas-style mustache whispers to my ear: “That’s Mil Máscaras“.

Back then, and unlike other masked wrestlers, legend Mil Máscaras kept his identity completely secret. No one knew who he was. He was very, very secretive. Chinto also claimed that if you sneaked into his room and opened his closet, he’d have nothing but hundreds of masks (a thousand?) hanging from individual hangers. This second claim I never verified.

However, I did get his real name from the front desk. And I remembered it for many years. Finally, he retired and his real name is known. Another lose end in my life was tied up about twenty years later. Indeed it was him, Mil Máscaras: Aarón Rodriguez.

Last night, sometime in the middle of the night, I very suddenly woke up and literally jumped out of bed. Then I slipped and fell on my butt. Got up and went back to sleep. I can’t remember what the hell it was that I was dreaming.

This morning, at work, I went to the kitchen on my floor to make some coffee. After a minute I realized I changed the filter, washed the pot, turned on the machine – but forgot to add the coffee, ending up with a pot full of hot water.

I can’t wait to see what happens the rest of the day.

Wonderful timing by big brother Jaco who got me a replacement for my old and battered Lego Darth Vader keychain to go with my new car keys.

At first, Lego Darth Vader lost his hand, which I thought was cool, you know, because it was like in the movie.

Then it lost both its legs, most of the chest paint, and the sharp angles of the helmet were reduced to… rounded angles. Suddenly it dissolved into thin air, leaving behind only the black cape (cue The Imperial March).

My new keychain is the lower ranking Lego Stormtrooper. Pretty cool. If you want to be more like me, get plastic surgery. For something less drastic you can get your own keychain at the Lego Shop.

A few hours ago, I sold my companion of countless adventures in the last six years: My beloved Focus (a.k.a El Tlacuache).

We went to countless unforgettable adventures together, like the time when I accidentally left a full gallon of orange juice after grocery shopping in the trunk, which decided to break and spill all over the back including the replacement tire one day at midnight. Good times indeed.

May you find care and love with your new owner Tweedledum, who can be seen in the back talking on the phone.

My good pal Meir Sasson stopped by in town last weekend for some work related thing. We were co-madrichim in CYJ, summer of 1997. We were in Las Vegas in the summer of 1998 and in the beginning of 1999, while in Jerusalem, he introduced me to the wonderful world of Sachlav for which I’m eternally grateful. He’s now older and wiser and looks like a serious person (but he’s still the same). It had been six years since I last saw him. Last weekend we mostly ate a lot. It was fun.

Who wouldn’t do business with this guy?

Last Saturday, Luis, Lola, Gabriel and myself went to the appropriately named town of San Marcos, TX in order to jump off a plane at 11,000 feet of altitude.

Four brave souls.

Unfortunately, my car decided to break on our way there, so we had to give up and turn around… for the moment.

“El Tlacuache” did not behave

Undeterred by the seemingly clear sign from above, we went again on Sunday. It was a little bit warmer than Saturday and very sunny. The people at Skydive San Marcos were awesome and we were up in the sky within the hour. Lloyd is the guy I was literally strapped on for my life. He very coolly explained and got me through the whole process.

Continue reading Marcos goes skydiving →

If you haven’t read the previous post, do so before you continue.

On top of the vertical blinds that cover the sliding door to the backyard, I see the furry beast in all its glory: this is the ugliest and biggest squirrel I’ve ever seen (and will be referred to as Brutus the Squirrel from now on). I slowly drop the bag full of deadly rat traps and grab a broom (and my camera, of course). My plan is to get to the sliding door itself, only a few feet away from the monster, and slide the door open so as to give it an escape route. Then, help him choose the escape route by using the broom as the instrument of persuasion.

Continue reading Intruder alert (Part II) →