Tonight: Mr. Kirsch’s Very Intimate Birthday Bash

From: Marcos Kirsch

Location: The Bat-Cave 12370 Alameda Trace Circle 133,Austin,TX View Map
When: Friday, May 6, 9:30pm
Phone: 512 XXX-XXXX

[UPDATE 5/8/2005] Photos have been uploaded.

Keep on reading for evite text.This is it. The biggest party since late April 2005 is finally here!

It’s not a Cinco de Mayo celebration: we have long forgiven the french and there is no reason to celebrate in Puebla right now(*).

However, if you want to have a great time, meet cool people, listen to great music, practice some salsa moves, and have a great time, stop reading right now and go find a party that has all that. Then invite me.

Just kidding. This is the party you’ve been waiting for! It turns out that I turned 22 (**) and for that we must celebrate. Bring some beer(***), wine, rum, vodka, tequila, aguardiente, whiskey or all of the above.

For this one and only occassion, ceviche will NOT be served.

Thank you for you prompt response, and see you on Friday!

Organizing Committee

—————
Footnotes:
(*) Puebla’s soccer team just descended to Second Division
(**) Approximately
(***) Caguamas de Carta Blanca

Frequently Asked Questions:

1.- How much alcohol should I bring?
Lots, if you want. As a rule of thumb, bring about half your weight in beer.

2.- I have cheerleader/model/hot female friends. Should I bring them?
Uhm, ok.

3.- Are you really 22? You look so much younger.
Nope, I am 27. It’s the youthfull smile that does it.

4.- Can you really salsa dance?
No, but when I’m drunk enough I think I do. And then I see the damn wedding video (not my wedding obviously).

5.- Sounds like a lot of people, are there enough toilets for everyone?
There’s always Alejandro’s sink.

6.- I don’t understand English. Do you have a translated version of this evite?
Si.

7.- Do I need to respond or should I play the waiting game and just check out the guest list an hour before the party and then decide if I want to go?
You’re running out of time. Plus, I don’t recommend that, because there is a chance that I may close the evite at any time and move the party to my private yacht, and only tell those who responded affirmatively about it.
[UPDATE] Lucky to all those that didn’t respond with time, I was just informed that the installation of the hot tub in my yacht is behind schedule, so we’ll have the party at my apartment after all.

8.- Do I need to try to be funny in my response.
Sure. Hell, I’m trying to be funny in the invitation (without much success) so why not?

9.- What if I’d rather stay home and scratch the inside of my nasal cavities all night?
I don’t blame you, I enjoy scratching the inside of my nasal cavities as much as the next guy, but this is a once in a lifetime event, I’ll never be a readhead again.

10.- A mostly male guest list and a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) section. Are you an engineer or what?
During the day I am indeed a mild-mannered engineer. But at night, I am…. (you fill in the rest)

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