My New Year’s Resolutions for 2003

As I randomly ran a Spotlight search for the word “Playboy” on my computer (for the articles! for the articles!) I stumbled upon an old email I wrote on January 2nd, 2003 to a friend. Today I’m publishing the email. Only the recipient’s name was changed in order to spare her from the embarrassment of being mentioned here:

Dear Petronila:

As the end of yet another year rapidly approaches, one cannot help but to stop and look back at past experiences and accomplishments. Last year I did not make any new year’s resolutions, hence today I’m not a better person that I was last year (yes, there is still some room for improvement). This year will be different. I have carefully thought out 10 New Year’s Resolutions that I intend to stick to. I want to share them with you. As you will see, the bar is not too high so there is some chance for this to actually happen. I know you’re not a very good reader so I typed this very slowly so you can keep up.

My Ten New Year’s Resolutions for 2003

  • 10. Learn what an exhaust manifold is.
  • 9. Shave, get my baby face back.
  • 8. Stop using fake names.
  • 7. Get a joke published on Playboy, earn a hunded bucks (they have jokes, they pay $100 – you need to read the articles to know).
  • 6. Learn Spanish.
  • 5. Do my laundry less often (note to self: buy more underwear)
  • 4. Get in shape (which shape is of no concern)
  • 3. Lose hair
  • 2. Gain weight
  • 1. Learn to count. Be a different kind of people.

Happy New Year
Edson Arantes Do Nascimento


There are 3 kinds of people –

– Those who can count, and those who can’t.

Marcos Kirsch

So how did I do? I did allright, as you can see in the following color-coded score card:

  • 10. Still no idea
  • 9. Twice
  • 8. Yes
  • 7. No
  • 6. Sí
  • 5. Yes. Learned to turn them inside-out as well.
  • 4. Yes
  • 3. Yes
  • 2. No
  • What goes before 2?

Since I can’t count very well, a friend told me that I scored like 50%! That’s pretty good, about half or even more. Very impressive.

Happy 2009.

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