Apologies in advance…

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don’t.

Ad in the personals:
Me: Wirey, sensitive
You: A little resistive
We’ll make a great thermocouple!

Just joined a rock band called 1023MB…we haven’t done a gig yet!

Why did the programmer get stuck in the shower?
Lather, rinse, repeat.

Q: What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?
A: Nothing. You can’t cross a scalar with a vector.

Q: Why do programmers get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because DEC 25 == OCT 31

I would tell you a joke about UDP but you might not get it…

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

Two atoms walk into a bar. One says, “Dang! I just lost an electron!” The other atom says, “Are you sure?” The first one says, “I’m positive.”

A tachyon gets kicked out of a bar. The bartender says “we don’t serve your type!”. A tachyon walks into a bar.

So, a neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer” he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. “How much will that be?” asks the neutron. “For you?” replies the bartender, “no charge.”

Did you hear about the man who cooled himself to absolute zero? Don’t worry, he’s 0K.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one tells the bartender he wants a beer. The second one says he wants half a beer. The third one says he wants a fourth of a beer. The bartender puts two beers on the bar and says “You guys need to learn your limits.”

Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

A photon walks into two bars…

How do you tell the difference between an extrovert programmer and an introvert programmer?
The extrovert programmer looks at your shoes when talking to you.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, that’s a hardware problem