For years I’ve kept a big thing of Old Fashioned Quaker Oats in the kitchen on my floor, at work. Some people take the liberty of taking some oatmeal, sure. That’s ok with me. They sell this huge box at Costco for $5 dollars that will last me for months. It’s so cheap I’m seriously considering buying a horse. I’d call him Mr. Ed, most likely.
Today, a strange thing happened: My big thing of Old Fashioned Quaker Oats was missing! Why would anyone take it? It makes no sense. It’s freaking oatmeal! It’s like stealing candy from a baby, except it’s not candy and I’m not a baby.
Right now, I’m trying to decide what to do about this terrible ordeal, and for that, I need your help.