Chocolate Matzah Faceoff

Introduction

Passover may be over. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t sit back and reflect on our freedom from slavery and other important things. What important things? Simple: What is the best chocolate covered matzah you can get?

Left: Streit's Chocolate Covered Matzos from New York. Right: Fiiller Matza con Chocolate from Mexico City.

I checked out the products from two companies that are into the captive Passover food market, in which you get to sell tons of overpriced matzah to constipated Jews all over the world but only for one week a year. Impressively, both companies have been around for about 80 years. Streit’s has been using New York tap water to make their wares for 80 years or so. I really hope that Mexican bread company Fiiller has not been using Mexico City tap water to make their products, as the results could be mistaken for the eleventh plague. But enough history, let’s get to business.

Packaging

Both come in similarly sized cardboard boxes. Streit’s box design milks nostalgia for all it’s worth. And their matzah is covered with milk chocolate, for all that’s worth (pun!); making it unsuitable as dessert for most of the meals of those who care about mixing (I don’t).

Fiiller uses one of those designs that scream “I’m not even trying!” and it shows. Nothing attractive about it. The color palette is uninspired, and the product photo is not even that appealing. The typography is especially awkward. I like their super retro logo though, and wish I had a t-shirt with it. Mr. Fiiller: if you are reading, let’s get in touch so you can send one my way.

Appearance

This is Streit’s. It seems like they have a serious problem: The chocolate does not stick to the matzah well. It peels off. The cracks give it an unappealing look.

Look at this closeup:

Is it the dry desert where the Chupacabra roams or a chocolate matzah? The texture from the peeled off and cracked chocolate reminds me of the facial skin of a certain P. E. teacher I had in kindergarden. Or Edward James Olmos. Either way, not good. I still ate it, don’t get me wrong. Perhaps if you buy it from their factory store in the Lower East Side it doesn’t look like this. But it sure didn’t survive the trip to my bobe’s gracefully!

Below, Fiiller’s. First you will notice that it’s smaller. Clever! The reduced area gives it higher structural strength, thus reducing the odds of the chocolate cracking. The chocolate is darker, since it’s pareve. It’s also shiny, which reminds me of the facial skin of a certain… oh forget it.

More impressively, Streit’s matzah will survive a bite perfectly. The chocolate does not fall off nor crack! Surely they must be using some advanced chemistry to accomplish that. We shall learn more soon.

Taste and texture

The milk chocolate on the Streit’s matzah was fantastic. Milky yet chocolatey. Very good. Sadly, the matzah underneath felt stale, not crunchy. And little flecks of chocolate flew out after every bite, ending up on my shirt and not in my mouth.

The Fiiller’s chocolate is dark and very good. But the most impressive part is how well it sticks to the underlying matzah, giving it the feel of a high quality chocolate candy bar: crunchy and fresh. Or , to use a word that fancy food bloggers use: “crisp”. And I have 8 pages of search results to back me up. It makes for one hell of a pimple-inducing eating experience!

Nutritional information

Streit’s has a detailed nutrition facts table. Must be a law or something. Ouch, calories and fat galore! What did you expect? It’s freaking chocolate matzah! On the upside, it provides some calcium. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Filler only lists their ingredients. No nutritional information whatsoever. Those wily Mexicans… I bet it’s every bit as unhealthy and fattening as the Streit’s one, minus the calcium due to the lack of milk. To make up for that, this one has orange juice, which I learned is the secret ingredient in Egg Matzah, which doesn’t even have egg at all! Go figure… In any case, that should add homeopathic amounts of vitamin C.

But… what is that under the ingredients list? Is that “huevo”? Looks like that’s the Fiiller secret for making the chocolate stay put on the matzah! Egg! Brilliant! Someone should get a Nobel prize for this discovery!

And the winner is…

Some people prefer milk chocolate. I love both milk and dark equally. However, Fiiller’s product has an overall better taste, look, and feel to it. It’s just awesome. The matzah reacts to bites with a satisfactory crunch and you won’t end up with half the chocolate broken up in little pieces around you all over the floor. Never underestimate the quality-junk-food-making abilities of Mexicans.

Chupete vs Santos

Rayados forward Humberto “Chupete” Suazo likes to score goals against Santos Laguna in finals. The man is a gifted genius. The third goal he scored in the Mexican League 2010 final was amazing. And yesterday he scored again in the first leg of the CONCACAF Champions League final after dribbling his way around 6 opponents. They are both great goals.

Which one do you like better?

Monterrey 3-0 Santos – 2010 Mexican League Final

Monterrey 2-0 Santos – 2012 CONCACAF Champions League Final (1st leg)

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Engagement FAQ

I’ve been receiving a lot of questions, so I decided to post answers to the most common ones here in a convenient FAQ form.

  1. I heard you got engaged. Is it true?
    The rumors (and many many many Facebook comments on our walls) are true. Sorry to make you lose your long standing bet.
  2. Who’s the unlucky girl?
    Shlomit. She’s way nicer than me.
  3. I thought you were already married to a Mac Plus.
    That’s not a question and it’s illegal to marry inanimate objects in most countries anyway.
  4. How did you get her to agree to marrying a loser like yourself?
    Shhh! She doesn’t know. Please don’t say anything yet.
  5. When will the wedding be?
    We don’t know yet.
  6. Where will the wedding be?
    See #5
  7. Did the news break a lot of hearts?
    No, just one.
  8. Is it too late to send engagement presents?
    No it’s not! Please don’t be shy. You can always check The MKX® Wish List for ideas. Don’t forget to bookmark!
  9. So, is that the ring you gave her in the photo?
    It was, but I got hungry and ate it before I had a chance to give it to her. She said yes anyway, but I owe her some candy.
  10. How will this affect the future contents of The MKX®
    Unless the FCC shuts me down, expect the same kind of low quality garbage from these pages. In the pre-nup the only things I get to keep are this blog and my collection of mint Star Wars action figures. I have Lando Calrissian in its original box. What she doesn’t know is that they are rare collectibles and will be worth MILLIONS one day. Don’t throw them away mom!

Thanks to everyone for your kind words on this important step for us. We are very happy and the best is yet to come.

Flashback Trojan

You probably heard about the Flashback Trojan infecting Macs through a security hole in Java. Apple has now (finally!) addressed the flaw and even shipped a removal tool.

When the whole thing started, I

  • Manually checked my machine for infection using instructions posted here. No infection found.
  • Downloaded and ran this tool for finding and removing the infection. No infection found.
  • Read an article about how the trojan will not infect machines with Xcode installed. I have Xcode installed.
  • Installed all but the latest of Apple’s software updates to Java which closed the vulnerability.

Finally installed the very last update from Apple, which includes a removal tool. To my surprise I got this message:

Guess there has been a lot of misinformation about this out there. My advice: run Software Update!

Supermonet

Interesting thing I learned today: Not only was Claude Monet a super-painter, but he actually had a super power: The ability to see ultraviolet light. How? In 1923 he had the lenses in his eyes surgically removed due to severe cataracts. Without the lenses filtering out UV light, he could see it. This is known as aphakia.

Here’s a comparison of two paintings he did of lilies. One before and one after he acquired his super power (source).

Neat, huh?

Israel vs starving photoshopped models

A man walks past an advertisement displayed on a main street in Tel Aviv, Israel, on March 19, 2012.

Readers may remember (more likely not) my posture towards the use of Photoshop to alter the look of models.

Now Israel has passed a law that:

  1. Bans models with a BMI of 18.5 or less.
  2. Requires that agencies tell their audience if they’ve digitally altered pictures to make models look thinner.

Thankfully my current BMI leaves the door open for me to work as a model in Israel, shall the need arise (my current face and body are a different story).

I’m also glad this gives me an excuse to post an image of a bunch of Israeli models in bikini on my blog.

The new iPad: impressions

  • The screen is really, really sharp. Super beautiful. Reading on this is going to be great. The screen is the single most important thing on a tablet, and that’s exactly the one significant update that the new iPad got. It is awesome.
  • It gets warmer to the touch. This means it uses more power. It has a battery that is over 70% larger yet lasts as long as in the iPad 2 so it all evens out. It won’t burn you, don’t worry.
  • Apps that haven’t been updated to use the Retina display look terrible. This is a temporary problem, most apps will probably get updated soon. And every old iPad you see from now on will look blurry.
  • Applications take up more space on disk! This is because they need bigger graphics in order to look good in the Retina display.
  • The Planet Earth wallpaper that comes up by default in the Lock Screen does not appear to be Retina-sized. Maybe this is because I restored from my old iPad. In any case, here’s a high-resolution version I got through a super high-resolution photo from NASA. Feel free to use.

    Download this in your iPad and use it as a wallpaper.
  • iPhone apps run on the new iPad in Retina mode. This could presumably have been the case on the old iPads when the app is blown up to 2x, yet it wasn’t. Now playing Yaniv on the iPad will be more pleasant.
  • The new 5 MP camera is… I don’t know. I haven’t tried it. Who needs a camera on a tablet? The front camera is useful for FaceTime. The back one, not so much.
  • Restoring from an iCloud backup wasn’t as seamless as I would have hoped. I had to sign in to a bunch of things again (iMessage, FaceTime, email, etc). Then I had some issues when downloading all my apps again. I fixed it by signing in to the App Store somewhere. The error I was getting was no help whatsoever.
  • Things aren’t noticeably faster nor slower. About the same. Which is ok, because the iPad 2 performed just fine. More speed never hurts though.
  • Finally, here are two screenshots of The MXK®. The graphics aren’t high resolution but do look better on the new iPad because it’s scaling down the page to fit in the screen. And check out that text… so sharp. Picture every pixel of the image inside a 9.7 inch screen . I resized the iPad 2 screenshot to match the new iPad screenshot.


No ugly people were harmed making this blog.