Category Archives: Mundo Dilbert

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NIWeek 2013

NIWeek 2013 kicked off today (well, the first keynote was today). I took very few photos but one thing was coolest to me: North American Eagle. This is the “car” that will attempt to break the land speed record. It needs to go at almost 800 MPH. It’s basically a fighter jet with no wings but wheels. Impressive.

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North American Eagle, bad hair day.
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From the back
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Looking into the rocket engine, camera flash on.

Other randomness:

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This demo uses a camera and image recognition software to create a line art of your face, then motion control and a robotic arm to draw it.
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Only tangentially related, the convention center is very close to Casino el Camino, home to possibly the best hamburgers in town. And as you can see… also home to possibly the best Lou Ferrigno framed photo in town.

Engineer jokes

Apologies in advance…

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don’t.

Ad in the personals:
Me: Wirey, sensitive
You: A little resistive
We’ll make a great thermocouple!

Just joined a rock band called 1023MB…we haven’t done a gig yet!

Why did the programmer get stuck in the shower?
Lather, rinse, repeat.

Q: What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?
A: Nothing. You can’t cross a scalar with a vector.

Q: Why do programmers get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because DEC 25 == OCT 31

I would tell you a joke about UDP but you might not get it…

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

Two atoms walk into a bar. One says, “Dang! I just lost an electron!” The other atom says, “Are you sure?” The first one says, “I’m positive.”

A tachyon gets kicked out of a bar. The bartender says “we don’t serve your type!”. A tachyon walks into a bar.

So, a neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer” he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. “How much will that be?” asks the neutron. “For you?” replies the bartender, “no charge.”

Did you hear about the man who cooled himself to absolute zero? Don’t worry, he’s 0K.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one tells the bartender he wants a beer. The second one says he wants half a beer. The third one says he wants a fourth of a beer. The bartender puts two beers on the bar and says “You guys need to learn your limits.”

Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

A photon walks into two bars…

How do you tell the difference between an extrovert programmer and an introvert programmer?
The extrovert programmer looks at your shoes when talking to you.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, that’s a hardware problem

Can you spot the coffee stain?

The genius of modern office design

Being a mild germophobe, I made sure to wipe clean my new cube using (what else?) 3M Desk and Office cleaner. Even though everything seemed perfectly clean, a vast amount of dirt came out.

Hi-tech filth, after pass two.

This got me thinking about how brilliant the designers of the modern office are. They make them look clean regardless of the amount of dirt being hidden in plain sight.

My theory is that the country’s top camouflage designers working for the army eventually run out of things to do and go on to tackle a harder challenge: Making the workspace of an engineer look clean.

For instance, compare these two photos of the desk, before and after heavy amounts of soap and half a roll of paper towels:

Desk surface, before.
Desk surface, after.

See the difference? I didn’t think so.

Even more striking is the design of office carpets. These patterns will hide anything smaller than 3/4 of an inch. Drop a penny, an earring, a screw and you will never find it again. Never.

Other things, such as giant coffee stains are completely hidden from plain sight too. See the photo below. Can you spot the giant coffee stain?

Can you spot the coffee stain?

I didn’t think so.